Camilo Henríquez
●
April 27, 2026
Mindfulness teachings can feel paradoxical at first. They invite us to accept reality while also changing, to make effort without forcing, to recognize suffering without becoming consumed by it, and to let go without becoming indifferent. In that sense, mindfulness challenges the rigid either/or logic that often dominates the mind. A person can be both growing and imperfect. A moment can be both painful and meaningful. We can care deeply and still loosen our grip.
Instead of resolving these tensions too quickly, mindfulness invites us to stay curious and hold them with more awareness, flexibility, and kindness.
In a previous entry, I wrote about four mindfulness attitudes described by Jon Kabat-Zinn: non-judging, patience, beginner’s mind, and trust. In this second part, I continue with five more attitudes that can help us relate to stress, emotions, uncertainty, and daily life with more balance.
Three of them, non-striving, acceptance, and letting go, are part of Kabat-Zinn’s classic attitudinal foundations of mindfulness practice. I also include gratitude and compassion, which are closely aligned with contemporary mindfulness approaches, especially with Shauna Shapiro’s work on mindfulness as a clinical practice involving intention, attention, attitude, and care.
Together, these attitudes invite us to relate to life with less force, more honesty, more appreciation, and more kindness.
Non-striving means not forcing experience to become something else all the time. It is the practice of not becoming obsessed with outcomes, achievements, improvement, or optimization.
This does not mean giving up, becoming passive, or not caring about doing things well. Effort is part of life. Goals are useful. Discipline matters. But mindfulness invites us to notice when effort becomes excessive, rigid, or disconnected from the present moment.
Sometimes striving can feel like trying to put on a shoe that does not fit. We push harder, but the result does not improve. We may become fixated on a goal, even when the way we are pursuing it is clearly not bringing the peace, clarity, or satisfaction we were looking for.
For example, a person may start cleaning the house because they want to feel calm, but then become so obsessed with finishing everything perfectly that they cannot enjoy the process or rest afterward. Or someone may keep working longer than necessary, not because the work truly needs it, but because stopping feels uncomfortable, unsafe, or “not enough.”
This can be challenging in cultures where productivity and optimization are highly valued. Wanting better results is not the problem. The problem begins when optimization becomes the main way we relate to rest, relationships, emotions, and self-worth.
Non-striving can help with:
In mindfulness, the invitation is not to stop growing. It is to stop making growth a condition for being allowed to exist peacefully.
Acceptance means recognizing what is here as it is. It is an honest way of seeing reality, without immediately denying it, exaggerating it, escaping it, or trying to force it into something more comfortable.
Acceptance is often misunderstood. It does not mean liking everything. It does not mean approving of what is painful. It does not mean giving up. It means seeing clearly.
For me, acceptance is like a light we can bring to our experience. It helps us notice both what is comfortable and what is uncomfortable. It helps us recognize what is working in our lives, but also what is painful, limited, or unresolved.
A person may need acceptance to recognize: I am not happy right now. Or: I am angry. Or: I am avoiding something important. Or: This relationship is hurting me. Without acceptance, we may deny these experiences because they are uncomfortable.
But acceptance also works in the other direction. Some people struggle to recognize what is good. They may forget their achievements, their stability, their health, their relationships, their capacity to breathe, eat, love, rest, or enjoy small moments. The mind can become so focused on what is missing that it stops seeing what is already present.
Acceptance can help with:
Sometimes acceptance is the first step toward change. We cannot respond wisely to a reality we are refusing to see.
Letting go means loosening our grip on the things we cling to: thoughts, emotions, desires, identities, relationships, status, objects, expectations, or versions of life that are no longer available.
This attitude is deeply connected to acceptance. First, we recognize what is here. Then we notice what we are holding too tightly.
Human beings naturally desire love, safety, recognition, pleasure, success, belonging, control, and certainty. There is nothing wrong with desire. But suffering often increases when we cling to these desires as if life must obey them.
We may cling to a relationship that has changed. A job that no longer fits. A stage of life that is gone. A younger version of ourselves. A skill we used to have. A fantasy of how things should have been. An identity built around being competent, attractive, needed, successful, or always in control.
Letting go does not mean we stop caring. It means we recognize that everything is changing.
Life does not move in perfect circles. It may feel cyclical, but each cycle is slightly different, more like a spiral. We return to similar themes, but never as exactly the same person, in exactly the same situation.
Letting go helps us say: Maybe this stage of my life is gone. Maybe this expectation no longer fits. Maybe I do not need to keep chasing this desire in the same way.
This attitude can be useful for:
Letting go is not always peaceful. Sometimes it hurts. But it can also create space. When we release what we are gripping too tightly, we may become more available to what life is actually offering now.
Gratitude is the ability to appreciate what is already here.
It sounds simple, but it is easy to forget. The mind often focuses on problems, threats, unfinished tasks, and what is missing. That tendency can be useful for survival and problem-solving, but if it becomes the only way we relate to life, we may stop noticing what is good.
Gratitude helps us not take things for granted.
It can be as simple as noticing a warm meal, a moment of silence, a kind message, a conversation, a cup of coffee, a safe place to sleep, the body breathing, the possibility of learning, or the presence of someone we love.
Gratitude is not the same as forcing positivity. It is not about denying pain or pretending everything is fine. It is about training attention to include what is still nourishing, supportive, or meaningful, even when life is difficult.
This is important because many people wait for ideal conditions before allowing themselves to feel grateful. They think they will appreciate life once the anxiety disappears, once the work is done, once the relationship is perfect, once the body feels better, once the future is secure.
But life is rarely completely solved.
Gratitude can help with:
In mindfulness, gratitude brings attention back to the richness of ordinary life. It reminds us that the present moment is not only something to tolerate. Sometimes it is also something to receive.
Compassion is the ability to recognize suffering in ourselves and others, and to respond with the wish that this suffering may be reduced.
This is one of the most important attitudes in mindfulness. We do not practice awareness only to become more focused or productive. We practice awareness with kindness. We pay attention not only to the present moment, but also to the suffering that exists in ourselves, in others, and in the world.
When we recognize that suffering is part of the human condition, something can soften. We may become less isolated in our pain. We may see that struggling does not make us broken. It makes us human.
Compassion does not mean denying pain. It does not mean pretending that everything is good. It also does not mean removing every difficulty from life. Some discomfort is part of growth, learning, love, change, and being alive. Compassion does not glorify suffering, but it helps us meet unavoidable pain with more care.
Compassion brings a different attitude toward suffering. It says: May this not destroy me. May I meet this with care. May others also suffer less where possible. May we find enough strength and support to keep going.
Compassion also helps us hold life’s paradoxes more gently. Something can be painful and still meaningful. Difficult and still part of growth. Imperfect and still worthy of care.
Compassion can help with:
In mindfulness, compassion reminds us that awareness without kindness can become cold. We do not only want to see clearly. We also want to meet what we see with humanity.
These five attitudes invite us to soften the constant fight with life.
Non-striving reminds us that we do not always need to force outcomes. Acceptance helps us see reality more honestly. Letting go teaches us to loosen our grip on what is changing. Gratitude helps us appreciate what is already here. Compassion invites us to meet suffering with kindness.
Together, they offer a way of practicing mindfulness that is not only about attention, but also about balance, wisdom, and care.
There is a paradox here. Mindfulness does not mean having no values, no preferences, or no perspective. It means noticing our perspectives and holding them with more awareness, flexibility, and kindness.
For anyone dealing with stress, anxiety, perfectionism, emotional pain, or the pressure to always become better, these attitudes can offer another direction.
In therapy, these attitudes can become practical tools. Not just ideas to understand, but ways of pausing, observing, responding, and caring for oneself in difficult moments.
Sometimes healing begins when we stop forcing life to be different for a moment, and allow ourselves to meet it as it is.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2012). Mindfulness for beginners: Reclaiming the present moment and your life. Sounds True.
Shapiro, S. L., Carlson, L. E., & Sawyer, B. A. (2024). The art and science of mindfulness: Integrating mindfulness into the helping professions (3rd ed.). American Psychological Association.
Great! Please fill this short form and I will get back to you within 48 hours.
